On to the awards:
First, what the fuck with all the mic-hogging assholes burning through their 30 seconds or whatever and not letting their co-winners get a word in edgewise? That fat makeup prick with the huge nose and the biker moustache who won for Narnia yammered on about nothing for so long the gal who was with him didn't even get a whiff of the mic. And it happened a few more times- usually a guy hogging the mic from a woman, but one woman hogged the mic from a man.
Kudoes to Peter Jackson's sound crew for having a plan- all four of them got their mic time with no incident.
What the fuck was that thing on the shoulder of Charlize Theron's dress?
It looked like a satin tribble.
Enough with the fucking montages, already! I like Chuck Workman as much as anyone, but if you dump a few montages maybe mic-hogging between multiple winners wouldn't be such a problem.
I crashed and burned in the Oscar pool, but took solace in calling Reese Witherspoon for best actress.
I have a feeling the only thing future generations will remember about these Oscars will be the last 15 seconds of this.
PIMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP!!!!!
And it set up the joke of the night from John Stewart:
Martin Scorsese: zero Oscars.
Three Six Mafia: one Oscar.
The best picture winner is a film described as "unwatchable" by my brother in law and as "a Tuesday After School Special about race" by the closest thing to a Hollywood insider I know, the Pelf.
I haven't seen it, but after one clip they showed (the excellent Terrence Howard and his movie wife referencing the Cosby Show during an argument about which one of them was blacker) the wife commented "that sounded rich suburban white people trying to imagine what a black couple would say" and I could but agree.
Glad to see Altman get an Oscar. Hard to imagine a more hit-or-miss director, but when he's on he's on, and he's the only one of the surviving 70's mavericks who still makes interesting movies.
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