HE-shirts

Last week I wandered into the middle of a big $5 tee-shirt sale over at Threadless.
Longtime browser, first time buyer, as they used to say in the letters pages.

My tee shirts fall into two broad categories, Artifacts Of A Young Comic Geek and Boring Solid Colors from the Gap Sale Rack

Group A is older than hell and has been mostly co-opted by the wife. She loves anything soft, and it doesn't get much softer than a 15 year old tee shirt. Seeing her wandering around in a gory vintage Hard Boiled or Sin City tee amuses my inner nerd and confuses most everyone else, but once she claims a shirt it's out of circulation- "what are you doing wearing my shirt?" becomes the operative phrase. So Group A has shrunk dramatically over the years.

Group B doesn't inspire much enthusiasm- I mean, they're there when you need something to wear, but I never come across one in the drawer and think "Fun! This one's perfect for today!".

Threadless splits the sartorial difference between a closet full of longboxes & memorabilia and a generic air conditioned cube.

These lovelies should be arriving monday:

Neko

on the late night.

Thrift SCORE

So we picked up a neat new butter knife yesterday and I noted that now we needed a neat butter tray to compliment.

Visited a tiny local thrift store to check out the books this afternoon, and voila!



Three bucks.
Can't beat that with a stick.

Title of the Day

Family Circle Great Ground Beef Recipes

It also has a lovely cover, if only the scanner was working...

semi-gross memory

One of mom's boyfriends referred to ladies derrieres as "poopers".

As in, "she's got a nice tight pooper!"


*shudder*

Big Brass Ones

I rarely answer the phone but I picked up the other day because Fuss was napping and I didn't know where the machine's volume was set.

It was a slick fellow from some house painting company that had given mom an estimate. When he asked if she was available (hah!) I took a page from the wife's book and said "No, she died last year. This is her son".

This only briefly threw him off script and moments later he was delivering a full-throated sales pitch, like a racehorse swiftly recapturing their form after some jostling out of the gate.

I listened in slack-jawed amazement.
Capitalism writ large, ladies and gentlemen.
He wasn't as objectively disgusting as the many predators that descended because she died, but for some reason I found his cheery obliviousness more depressing.

true customer tales: crazy as a loon edition

obviously crazy lady wanders up to counter.

crazy lady:
I REALLY need to use a phone man. I REALLY need to know where a phone booth is.

me (wishfully thinking that being helpful will stave off the insanity):
There's one at the Chamber of Commerce- down the street til you hit the mission, turn left about half a block.

crazy lady:
I been looking for a phone booth ALL DAY man, I really need a PHONE BOOTH.

me:
-repeats directions-

crazy lady, looking desperate:
-looks at ceiling and half-yells something incomprehensible-

me:
-goes back to pricing books and ignoring her-

crazy lady wanders halfway to door, turns around and says in a snotty little kid's voice:
So I just go down to the mission, then turn left and then fall in love, RIGHT?

Me, in my stern voice:
You need to leave. Right now.

crazy lady:
But I don't know the ADDRESS, I been looking for the chamber of commerce all day!

Me, pointing at door:
I don't know what their address is and I've already given you directions twice.

crazy lady, backing away:
Alright man, alright man...GOD BLESS!

favorite coffee cups

Here are three.
In chronological order:


Mister Donut


It was liberated from a shop in Japan by the wife's not-quite-ex boyfriend, moonlighting as an English teacher. We'd just started seeing each other in earnest after a few false starts. Soon her tentative plans to cross the pond were dissolving in waves of 3am transatlantic calls.

I kept the cup in the settlement.

Bird Cup

When the whole bird thing was manifesting in the run-up to the Fuss' conception and birth I tripped over this beauty on the sale table at Urban Outfitters.
I like their sale table. I almost always find something worthwhile amidst the fluff & detritus the cool kids have passed over.

Diner Mug

Purchased from the coffee shop next to the store.
It weighs about five pounds empty and embodies one of my favorite design dichotomies- an aesthetically pleasing object that achieved its form by elevating function over all other considerations.
That ends badly nine times out of ten, but once in a great while the destination is sublime.
This one would be equally at home in a 1940's greasy spoon or the cupboard of Silverlake hipster.

true customer tales: Sale Cart Edition

two dudes on skateboards pull up.

dude one
Twenty five cent books, dawg!


dude two
Find me a badass book.

dude one
NINJAS DUDE, NINJAS!

fun with google image search

second result for World's Largest Afro

breakfast liveblogging

Found the camera charger so it's back in play.
New fuss pix on flickr, and as an added bonus here is the very delicious breakfast I just consumed.