Unsurprisingly, they returned to me in the pre-dawn hours like some nagging Ghost of Bowel Movements Yet To Come, but brought no visions of sugarplums. Rather, they delivered a bevy of other misguided chip flavors to mosh about in my head keeping me awake until morning.
So, Pringles, allow me to share my limited time only suggestions for next Christmas' chips:
Mincemeat
Reindeer Trough
Xtreme Holidaze Pumpkin Spice
Elf Sick
Santa's Wig
Gingerbread Krunk
Peppermint Polar Fleece
Tree Stand Water
Snowman Vomitorium
Grandma's Dusty Candy Bowl
Claus Ennui
They can also be re-gifted as names for season heavy metal bands.
YOU'RE WELCOME, America.
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