Fuss: Omnifuss

Twitter's unmatched utility as a nearly instantaneous outlet for amusing events has badly eroded the Fuss coverage here on the blog, one more example of convenience trumping depth & quality.  Blockbuster expired this week because Netflix was more convenient.  Your local bookstore likely expired because Amazon was more convenient.

That I'm the one putting myself out of business bends, but doesn't necessarily break, the metaphor.

So, with an aim toward assuaging my damaged conscience....

Here's Fuss with his new Tiger Slippers:

Temperamentally we're so much alike I wonder how, burdened as he is with my overwhelming panoply of irrational, counterproductive behaviors, I expect him to have a better life than mine- which seems to me is the unstated goal of childrearing, that they mainly avoid your own struggles & hardships, striking gloriously triumphant poses atop the summits you failed to mount.

The Tiger Slippers are, among other attributes, nicely suited to mountain climbing- warm, with long claws for traction on both rock and ice. They're something I'd have loved as fiercely as he does, a whimsical luxury alien to my own childhood which will henceforth be a fixture in his barrel of Cozy Friends.

He wore them all last night and made a game of wiggling his feet under a blanket, saying "Uh, Dada?  Does something seem unusual to you about these feet?"   After I'd pulled the blanket aside and expressed my astonishment, he'd attribute their presence to an infected bite from Coodgie Woodgie, his stuffed tiger, then carefully explain

"I'm not a tiger, I'm a boy with tiger FEET.  You can call me 'Paws'."

This fountain was one of the landmarks of his childhood.  Fountains have always fascinated him, and time was we'd have to detour around this entire segment of town unless we had time to stop and make a thorough exploration of the vicinity. Occasionally it was switched off or drained for maintenance, and his dismay would echo from the hills.  Yesterday I had to suggest a visit, even though we'd purchased the Tiger Slippers & a gross of socks just two doors down.

Lately his favorite battle cry is proclaiming, in the style of Muscle Man from tv's The Regular Show,

"LATER, Grandmas.  Woo!  WooOOOO!  WOOOOOOO!!"

He has his mother's ear for inflection & accent and his impression vibrates with an eerie authenticity.
He recently suggested that for next Halloween he could be Muscle Man & I could be High Five Ghost, an idea I'm behind 110%.

But when fitting the Tiger Slippers in under budget necessitated choosing between the Adventure Time and Regular Show tee shirts in our stack, he did not hesitate.

"I love Adventure Time.  So, that one."

It's not inconceivable that swapping my televised childhood diet of Sigmund & the Sea Monsters, Great Grape Ape and Kukla, Fran & Ollie for The Backyardigans, Adventure Time and Kipper will be improvement enough to tilt the arc of history in his favor.

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