true customer tales: c'mon babe

young urban camper kid, seemingly inebriated, trying to talk me into selling him a $4 Stephen King book for a buck.  The exchange went on for about five minutes, my responses were all along the lines of "no, the book is $4" and can be implied.  Here are the highlights of his pleas:

I really need to read this book, can I have it for a dollar? C'MON BABE.  They always let me slide, man!  No, but I want to read THIS book.  C'mon man!  WAIT, I have change.  *digs in pockets, comes up with some elastic hair ties, a purple plastic cross, a couple of hairballs and a few pennies*  So how about THIS! C'mon, all I gots a buck, it'll take me forever to get another one!  I GOTTA READ THIS BOOK!  You have, like, THREE COPIES, man!  Okay, okay...WHO'S THE CHIEF HERE?  I wanna talk to them!  They always let me slide, always!  *adressing two guys who just walked in* HEY!  can you help me get this book?

After a bit, reality started to sink in.
These were his parting words as he shuffled out the door.

Sad face!  Gigantic...yellow...SAD FACE!