Longtime readers will be familiar with my rotating amusement/disgust/amazement/disbelief relationship with responses to that staple of post-sale banter, "would you like a bag?" A simple yes or no answer is rarer than unicorns, with baroque permutations and digressions being the norm.
I had a couple of prime specimens yesterday I wasn't able to jot down, so here they are.
First, an older gentleman essayed one of the classics.
me: would you like a bag?
him, affronted: No!
So I make change, tuck his receipt in the book, close the register and walk away.
"Hey! WHERE'S MY BAG!" he immediately grouses.
Later in the day, a college gal bought a pocket book.
"Would you like a bag?" I ask on reflex, even though she has like six other large bags from various shops stacked into a pyramid on the counter.
She pauses, looks at each bag in turn, considers the situation, and answers an emphatic "Yes!"
So I place the book in our small bag, the perfect size for pocket books and small paperbacks.
"Uh...." she drawls, "can I get one with a handle?"
Ladies and gentleman, AMERICA!