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hey cool, Blogger posts copy-and-paste tweets with code intact now!
Having your lawyer introduce you at your sexual harassment press conference: legendary.
Herman Cain's lawyer also represented the Dukes of Hazard.
this guy comes off as an actor playing a lawyer. #Cain
Shorter Cain's lawyer: I know how victims of sexual harassment should behave. And as an expert, all of these women are liars.
Where did Herman Cain find this simple country lawyer?
Herman Cain should have just asked Keenan Thompson do to this press conference.
This fucker's name is "Lin Wood"? Is that the name of the man you want defending you from sexual harassment charges?
Cain lawyer: Cain accused "first by anonymous sources, and then by" ... un-anonymous people? Err ...
This is an episode of Law & Order: SVU, right? Where's Casey Novak? You people are fucking with me right now.
Did Cain get this lawyer out of the Yellow Pages???? Or meet him in the elevator on the way to the press conference?
Shorter Cain: "I have harassed so many women, I can't remember them all."
Um. Sure! Please don't nominate him. RT@RichardGrenell: hahaha @markos & @hunterdk tweeting like crazy #ScaredofCain
PLEASE SING THE POKEMON SONG.
dear herman cain, its not "anonymous" if she HAD A PRESS CONFERENCE YESTERDAY.
I wouldn't call them anonymous accusers. I would call them women who signed non-disclosure agreements after settling with the NRA.
herman cain refers to himself in the third person more than bob dole did.
Who is this Herman Cain that Herman Cain keeps mentioning? #CainWreck
Did Herman Cain just refer to himself as Herman Cain? Nothing says innocent like speaking of yourself in the 3rd person.
You know, I'd've respected Cain a lot more if he'd just said, "I'm rich, you fuckers. Kiss my ass. I'm going home."
Hey, Herman Cain: Is it a high-tech lynching if it's auto-erotic asphyxiation?
Cain should just say that no black person has been this targeted since the Underground Railroad.
That's not the Herman Cain I know, says Herman Cain, serving as his own expert character witness.
Don't report on the sexual harassment settlements of presidential candidates, because you know, their wives might find out.
"Don't drag my family into it. Let me tell you what my wife said."
My impression of every conservative ever: MEDIA! WAAAH! #derp
"I have never acted inappropriately with anyone." that's quite a statement!
How are the two settlements a "he said/she said" situation?
Herman Cain is attacking his accuser. You really expect more from a guy who would force a girl to have her rapist's baby.
"I. Did not. Have sex. With those sexy, sexy white women with the UH! and the POW! and the WHAMMOSCALAMMO!" - press conference rehearsal #1
Cain: "So many people hate Mitt Romney that they'll take a serial fondler like me over him."
Wow, he played the "there is no such thing as sexism" card.
Oh tell me he didn't say that
If there were a left-wing conspiracy, it would be to help Herman Cain win the GOP nomination.
The legal settlement the NRA entered into wasn't a legal settlement because of it not being one. Lie detector now please?
If the number of women accusing him reaches 13, Cain gets to declare them a coven.
A settlement settling legal claims is known in many circles as a legal settlement.
Man, Herman Cain is gonna be really disappointed about Herman Cain's press conference.
The National Restaurant Association settled with two women years ago because they somehow knew Cain would run for President one day.
If Herman Cain started forcing the microphone to his crotch, I'd know this is a dream.
Here's what I love about Herman Cain: he's so NOT a politician, he'll answer ANYTHING. Like Ron Burgundy reading a teleprompter.
Cain: I can't say this is a conspiracy, only that that it's a conspiracy.
There are forces that do not want Herman Cain to become president, says Herman Cain, loyally standing by himself in this hour of crisis.
Herman Cain is virtually tied with @MittRomney atop the Republican primary polls, eight weeks before Iowa. Remember that as you watch this.
the democrat machine is capable of going back in time and orchestrating sexual harassment charges for a guy who will never be president
Is this a bad time to mention that 9-9-9 is Marcus Bachmann's favorite sexual position?
Harassment claims against Cain product of conspiracy between: 1. Perry, 2. Dem Machine, 3. People who don't want a business man to be prez
Heavy D died today - please cut away from herman cain presser to "Girls They Love Me" youtu.be/OYmxbydg1BI
the democrat machine is responsible for marty's parents getting together #CainMachine
This Cain thing is making "I did not have sexual relations with that woman" seem positively noble.
"Democrat Machine of America" is the new "Vast Right Wing Conspiracy". Except much, much dumber.
Once you get the #DemocratMachine up to 88mph, you're gonna see some serious shit
this is the most awesome presser ever
"My wife comes up to my chin" is the worst classic porn movie I've ever rented.
That settles that. I expect to never hear Herman Cain mention Herman Cain ever again.
I'll go out on a limb and say I don't think that really laid all the questions to rest.
Well, at least Cain didn't sing, "Imagine there's no settlements."
The #cainwreck is going just as we planned. FOR THE GRANDKIDSSSSS
hard to believe he could top "uzbekibekibekistan" and not knowing China has nukes. But there you go.
The people applauding were obviously from Rick Perry's campaign. #CainWreck
you'll be shocked.....crew at Fox News though presser was awesome. "A+" #cantmakethisup
I didn't watch the Cain thing, but I drew a mustache on a sock and touched myself inappropriately.
Did you know you can order business cards that say anything you want? That's how I became Admiral Thrust Dixon, King of Sexing, Esq., DDS.
(okay, that last one wasn't from the presser...but c'mon, HILARIOUS!)
you'll be shocked....crew at Fox News calls Bialek "scam artist" refers to her "rap sheet." #itsgettingugly #tcot
Twitter is why the internet was invented.
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and now the #cainwreck tag is trending...LAWL!
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