True Customer Tales

A sketchy pale dude with an ex-con vibe sidles up to the counter and starts a mumbling, almost uninteligible auctioneer's monologue, impervious to my attempts to interject replies.

It went something like this.

Ummmmm do you have street maps I need a street map it's okay I got one in the car I told that bitch to shut up I didn't like her drinking in my car no it's okay man that didn't really happen it's just a story but I'm a misogynist anway I guess I should just find a service station.

Long pause.

hey have you got a phone book i could look at.

"Sure." I replied, excited to finally get a word in.