Ok, maybe not a tool, but certainly a film critic who let the giddy 13 year old girl inside her get hold of the keyboard while writing this ludicrous ode to the anorexic collarbones and bloated lips of Kiera Knightly:
Performance Of The Year
Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice has been adapted numerous times, but Joe Wright's luminous version brings it to fresh new life, and key to that life is Keira Knightley as the emotional cornerstone of her impoverished and at-times-intolerable family. Effortlessly flowing between pride, vivid young love, and self-righteous, wounded indignation, Knightley brought moderation but deep intensity and conviction to a complicated role that would have been all too easy to oversell or overplay.
Oh for FUCK'S SAKE!
I'm as big a fan of this film as you're going to find outside my Jane Austen obsessed sister in law, but Knightly was just adequate.
"My god, she didn't piss herself on camera...HAND HER AN OSCAR!"
"Effortlessly flowing between pride, vivid young love, and self-righteous, wounded indignation"!?
Try "Effortlessly flowing between scrunching her eyebrows and pursing her collagen pillows, big movie star smiles, and making her collarbones heave while looking faintly constipated".
She was serviceable. She didn't embarrass herself.
That hardly makes her Maggie Fucking Smith.
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