7.23.2005

Weather Report

Hey, my town has its own weather webpage.
Who knew...or cared?

We have one 12 month long season- summer-ish.
The weather is always sunny and mild, minus a wave of scattered showers every four years or so.
We have morning clouds which have always burned off by the time I rise and shine.
When the daytime temperature drops below 60, it's front page news.

Anyone who's lived here longer than a week can tell you this.
The enuii of reporting early morning clouds burning off to reveal an even 70 degrees stretching to the horizon in every direction has generated dizzying weatherperson turnover at our local station

Our local TV station KSBY is something of an Island of Misfit Toys anyway, stocked with castoffs, returns and damaged goods. The on-camera 'talent' display a gamut of afflictions; corrugated skin, crooked teeth, uneven features, unique speech patterns.
I eagerly await the day they trot a leper out to read the police blotter.

It wasn't always that way, at least on the weather front.
Once we had a long serving, well respected weather lady named Sharon Graves, who didn't seem to mind the repetition and low pay and who would likely still be making Delphic predictions about the Marine Layer and El Nino weekday evenings at 7 and 9 except for that spot of bother involing her husband, his wang and a high school basketball game that was eventually defined by a judge as "Lewd Behavior".

You'd expect a bit more for a guy who was wanking off in a gym full of kids, including his own brood and their friends, but I suppose even minor local celebrity has its benefits(that's him on the left), and of course his wife was a beloved major local celebrity.

And it was swept under the rug, for a while.

Eventually our local "independent" rag The New Times ran a story, then later waxed rhapsodic over their own amazing bravery and journalistic dedication to the truth. They undermined their glorious heroism somewhat by publishing the offending story sans byline in their gossip column.
But hey, we're a small town and we'll take our bold defenders of the 1st Amendment as we find them.

Chaos ensued, of course, creating very large tempest in my small, idyllic teapot.

Such a tempest that Sharon Graves ran away to Missouri and reverted to her maiden name, Sharon Ray.

Her station bio notes
She and her husband have three children and are very happy to be back in the Midwest.


I bet!

Well, I see a silver lining in this depraved tale of small-town America.

If those salt of the earth values voters in the Red State Heartland (tm) can see their way to giving convicted pedo-wanker Kevin Graves a second chance, the sky seems the limit on their acceptence of alternative lifestyles and philosophies.

I wonder if Kevin Graves, Fishmaster and Pedo-Wanker, is now Kevin Ray, househusband and values voter?

4 comments:

Chris said...

"Hey, my town has its own weather webpage.
Who knew...or cared?"

About 400 viewers per day know and care, not just fron SLO and SLO County, but worldwide.

Thanks for the link.

Namingways Way said...

I wish the east coast was that eventful, well NC aint got much going for it in the news department...

Much less my little rural villiage...

And to Everything That Has a Name

baxie said...

Chris: nice to see your traffic is light enough that you can personally inspect every outside link. ;-)

I meant no disrespect with my snarky comment; I devoted several years to nearly daily updates of a gaming page, a far more pointless and Quixotic pursuit than a well made local weather page. =)

Craig said...

It's about a million degrees outside, and the local news in LA won't shut up about it. This got me thinking about how wonderful weather reporting was on KSBY, and how I miss Sharon Grave's jokes about Off Shore Flo and Coastal Eddie. I wondered what she was up to since the Mott Gym Wank Scandal, and now I know--thanks Google. Great blog!