The rom com stereotype guy from New Zealand who works at the cafe next door declared, as I paid for my morning latte,
"I've decided that deep down you're a very kind, understanding person, it's just that you have to deal with so many idiots."
(Read in Flight of the Conchords accent for full effect.)
Which I true as far as it goes- you can't work retail for as long as I have without developing a gimlet eye for human nature. But furthermore, I don't care what anyone thinks of me beyond a tiny handful of confidantes and am automatically suspicious of people obviously trying to 'get to know' me. So the odds were stacked against New Zealand Rom Com guy in direct proportion to his seemingly endless stockpile of disarming charm- my brain is wired in such a way that happy, bubbly people set off the same general system alarm as Smelly Santa trying to chat me up about the Trilateral Commission.
Hurray for the Sub Optimal Childhood!