Whither Star Wars

I'm old, so my experience of Star Wars is watching the original in the (single screen) theater 40 times or so, going batshit over the indescribably excellent Empire Strikes Back and trying to ignore the 3/4ths of Return of the Jedi that looked like a baboon had dug it out of its ass and flung it at the screen (all the parts with midgets in faux fur jumpers).

I skipped the whole 'rerelease' phemonena, mercilessly mocked the retrofitting of the original trilogy with stupid Roman numerals, and laughed at my friends who vainly tried to defend the quality of the modern sequels.

I did watch the first ten minutes of 'Phantom Menace' but managed to turn it off before I was overcome by the fumes.

Now comes Revenge of the Sith, which is supposed to be real great because the torrential downpour of special effects drowns the wooden acting and tone-deaf dialog more thorougly than any previous film.


The critical embrace of this one puts me in mind of a book buying phenomenon I've noticed.
While sorting through a big bunch of crappy ones, anything that sucks a little bit less than the rest starts to look pretty good.
They're not good, of course- they're just less odiferous than the other turds in the bowl.

I'm thinking of calling it "The Star Wars Phenomenon" in honor of Lucas's case of cinematic bulemia, the 'second trilogy'.
The bar has been set so low for Sith that simply approaching watchability is hailed as a breakthrough.

As proof the internet can make a silk purse out of even the most scabarous sow's ear, fan Rod Hilton gives us the Cliff's Notes Screenplay for Episode XXXX.

Funny to me and I haven't even seen it, I'm sure it will be a bracing tonic for those who have actually endured the thing.