In honor of the Mad Magazine of my youth...

Literary Awards We'd Like to See

Oh, wait.....this is real.

Well then!

My winners:

title goes to Gabrial Garcia Marquez via KO 1, with Memories of my Melancholy Whores .

And there is some really, really comical writing here, I reccomend a close reading of all the nominees...but nobody tops Updike.

Here's a beguiling sample to lure you willingly into his boudouis of purple proseody (fair warning, one naughty word):

Faye took him in hand. He slipped in. He became an adulterer. He went for the last inch. She grunted, at her own revelation. His was that her cunt did not feel like Phyllis's. Smoother, somehow simpler, its wetness less thick, less of a sauce, more of a glaze. It was soon over.

Now that's some Pulitzer Prize prose!